There are countless ways grooms can get involved in wedding planning. The big ones are no surprise: Getting his suit fitted, writing his vows, and helping pick a first dance song, to name a few. Smaller gestures—like leaving notes for his bride or taking her out dancing—are less established, but make a big difference too! We asked Christina Steinbrenner, Director of Tuxedo Marketing at Brides Live Wedding sponsor Jos. A. Bank Clothiers, as well as some wise Brides staffers, for the top 10 pre-wedding “must do” list for grooms. (Psst: Brides, discreetly pass this along to your fiancés!)
1. Pick a suit that suits the wedding style. “The most important thing for a couple to consider when planning their formal wear attire is the style and feel of the wedding,” Steinbrenner says. “For a traditional, more formal event, a classic tuxedo with a notch, shawl or peak lapel is ideal. Slim-fit silhouettes have been most popular lately. For a less traditional option, shades of gray are hugely popular. Destination or beach weddings call for a lighter gray, tan or even jacketless tuxedo.”
2. Accessorize! Put the finishing touches on your look with a perfectly folded pocket square or fun socks for an extra pop of color, Steinbrenner says. Accessories make all the difference!
3. Get a haircut, but not the day before. If the trim is too close, this will leave time to let it grow out.
4. Schedule a cleaning service. Hire a cleaner for the week of your wedding and for the duration of your honeymoon. Your house or apartment will look impeccable when things get busy, and it’ll be so nice to come back to a clean home when your honeymoon is over.
5. Go out dancing. Whether it’s going out to a bottle service club until 3:00 a.m. or just having a nice dinner at home with the first dance music ready to go, schedule an excuse to practice that choreographed first dance!
6. Plan something special for your bride for the wedding day. It doesn’t have to be lavish—or even anything you spend a lot of money on—but something thoughtful like a letter and champagne will help make a special day even more magical. Just make sure the delivery arrives at the perfect time.
7. Say “I love you”—often. Leave little notes everywhere. Post-its, chalkboard doodles, slips of paper under fridge magnets. This is the time to be romantic (and yes, even cheesy)!
8. Work on your vows. Transcribe all “for vows” notes on your iPhone, and take a stab at writing something eloquent. And if the vows are already done, practice ’em.
9. Stay on top of the rehearsal dinner. Check in with the priest/rabbi/officiant and make sure both sets of parents and all wedding party members know when and where to show up. Taking the whole party off her plate is a huge gesture and will greatly reduce her stress.
10. Seduce her! Sex kills stress and it’ll take the edge off of the wedding night in case the reception goes all night.